Pure optimism.
Posed in the mirror with my future slim face. Had not taken a single tablet.
AT LAST*Never said it makes you slim12% satisfiedWeight goes up
A STUNNING TRANSFORMATION IN JUST 90 DAYS
People canchange.
I believed it. I took it every day.And then—
See the shocking result ↓A fictional testimonial. Individual results vary, but that is not the main issue here.
90 DAYSDONE
Subject A, 38 / Hobby: dessert after dessert
THE RESULT
I did not losea single gram.
BEFORE82.4kg
→
AFTER87.8kg
+5.4 kgPROUDLY GAINED
The only thing that got lighter was my wallet.
90 DAYS DOCUMENTARY
And then, the weight moved.
Not down.
Up.82.4 kg
Still hungry.
Rewarded myself for taking the tablet with ramen. The extra noodles were for research.
My trousers changed.
The waist did not shrink. The waistband became elastic.
People noticed.
A colleague carefully asked, ‘Have you… grown?’ Their eyes were accurate.
People can change.
In an upward direction too.
NOT SOLDTHE UN-SLIMMING FORMULA
Just take it.Then nothing else happens.
- 01No exercise requiredExercise is still allowed
- 02No diet requiredA diet would help
- 03Only two a dayThey are candy tablets
WHAT'S INSIDE?
Three carefully selected ingredients.
Mostly feelings.MOTIVATION
Most concentrated on day one. Rapidly disappears by day three.
According to our moodDREAMS
Humanity's ancient wish to lose weight by swallowing something.
Dreams may remain dreamsGLUCOSE
The only ingredient we can confidently say is inside.
So yes, it is candyZEROAUTHORITY
EXPERT-ISH OPINION
We asked someone who looked qualified.
‘If swallowing this made you slim, I would probably be taking it too.’
Owned a white coat
Dr. Maybe Nott
Evidence levelA hunch
Not a medical expert. The coat was for Halloween.MADE WITH ALMOST NOTHING
Uncompromising non-production.
Quality is easier to protect when nothing is made.
Choose the name first.
YASEMASEN. Product planning was now 98% complete.
Search for non-slimming ingredients.
Three hours of debate over potato chips.
Make nothing.
Zero contaminants: there is no product to contaminate.
Watch empty air closely.
Skilled staff inspect an empty conveyor belt.
STANDARDNO-ISONOT CERTIFIED
VOICES, THOUGH NOT HAPPY ONES
Silence from across the nation.
★☆☆☆☆
‘Tastes fine. Does not slim.’
Office worker, 42★★☆☆☆
‘Only the scales told me the truth.’
Self-employed, 35★☆☆☆☆
‘The cat lost a little weight.’
Cat owner, 29WHY YASEMASEN?
Compared with ordinary products.
ExerciseRecommendedWhen inspired
Food trackingImportantPhotograph it only
Expected changeDependsThe bottle empties
PriceVaries¥0 — not for sale
RecommendationVariesSend this page to a friend
DATA NEVER LIES
An astonishing lack of results.
Felt something: ‘I seem hungry.’Felt nothing: ‘Of course.’
88%felt nothing
WEIGHTGAINGUARANTEE
OUR PROMISE
If you accidentally lose weight…
Our entire team will be genuinely surprised.
We cannot refund the product. It was never sold. We can offer enthusiastic applause instead.
創
A LETTER FROM OUR FOUNDER
From the person responsible.
Hello. I am Ena Shima, head of YASEMASEN development.
It began at 2 a.m. with: ‘Wouldn't a pill that does not make you slim be funny?’
Most ideas like this disappear by morning. We wrote a proposal instead.
Development took three months. Product development took zero days. The rest went into this page.
We could not change your weight, but we may have taken a few minutes of your time.
Head of YASEMASEN DevelopmentEna Shima印
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Questions nobody needed answered.
Q.Does it really not make you slim?＋
A. Correct. More importantly, the product does not exist.
Q.What flavour is it?＋
A. A delicate note of disappointment.
Q.When should I take it?＋
A. We recommend not taking it.
Q.How do I cancel my subscription?＋
A. You never subscribed. Please breathe.
Q.Can I recommend it to family?＋
A. Send them this page, not the product.
FINALLY, THE ORDER FORM
Place no order.
For anyone who reached this point and still wants to buy it.
YASEMASEN / 30 DAYSUsual price ¥9,800Today's price ¥0
Subtotal¥0
Shipping¥0 — nothing ships
Your expectationsPriceless
Total¥0
Want something that actually arrives?
These candy tablets look the part and are real products.
YASE
MASEN
MASEN
To everyone who read this far
Please do not buy it.
YASEMASEN is fictional. Its benefits, effects and the product itself do not exist.FOUR RELEASES